Snoopy, Christmas, and Pizza. Some combinations are just meant to be!
Archive for the ‘Living Life’ Category
On Dasher. On Dancer. On Prancer. On Vixen. On Dominick, on Snoopy, on Baron von Richthofen. Leave a comment
On Family and Marriage: Henny Youngman 2 comments
“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house. That’s what it means.”
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
“My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.”
“My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!”
“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?”
“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”
“Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
I’ve got two wonderful children – and two out of five isn’t too bad.
What is a home without children? Quiet.
“My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.”
“Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.”
“Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.”
“Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. One guys says, ‘Since when have you been wearing a girdle?’ Other guy says, ‘Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car.'”
“I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.”
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
“It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.”
“Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.”
“I miss my wife’s cooking – as often as I can.”
When She Calls 4 comments
Velda, on a happier day, with Payton.
When your significant other calls to you after an incident … you know when there is something wrong. You know what I’m talking about. When they call, their voice is different.
Different enough that you actually pay attention to what they’re saying (or maybe that’s just me).
Different enough that you get an adrenalin rush when they call your name.
Different enough that you prepare for anything – anything – that you might need to do.
In two days, Velda has done this twice.
Twice.
And that is quite enough, m’lady.
Angry At Plastic
Last night, she was preparing dinner, making lotion, and flitting about the kitchen with too much on her mind. She was making Pasta Carbonara when she couldn’t get the garlic out of the Ziploc bag.
It. Wouldn’t. Open.
Velda didn’t get the fruit arrangement quite right … but then, no knives or plastic bags were involved. Just Walter.
She violently tore the bag open, and her hand flew across the cutting board only to contact the blade of her newly sharpened Santoku knife, neatly fileting the skin on the middle knuckle of her middle finger. She said it was the worst cut she has sustained while cooking.
And she wasn’t even holding the knife.
She called my name, and I came running. Of course.
She assured me that she did not require stitches. She said so each time I asked. 5 times. I did supervise her first aid, got her the appropriate antibiotic ointment and knuckle Band-aid. And then I went out to get her more knuckle Band-aids.
Did I come running when she called? You bet.
“Mercy”
The incident this morning is much darker in nature, unfortunately. She called me shortly after 9am, after arriving at her place of employment (she’s a nurse practitioner, stationed at a skilled nursing facility, AKA nursing home). She told me that a gunman had entered the nursing home, shot his sister – a patient – and then told a nurse that he would wait for the police to show up.
Velda, completing the Turkey Trot in San Dimas last month. I couldn’t be prouder.
She called me while this was going on. While the gunman was still loose in the facility. While her safety was my only concern … and she refused to leave. She called me again after the police arrived and took the gunman into custody. No one was in danger after the shooter shot his sister, come to find out.
One of the news reports, below, is calling this a mercy killing. I’ll leave that judgement to God. What I do know is this:
- Velda called her boss right after she called me, and got her boss and her boss’ boss to the nursing home quickly.
- She helped the bosses craft a communication strategy, and the team now on site began telling their patients and patients’ family members what had happened ASAP. They didn’t wait for corporate permission – they just did the right thing and started communicating.
I couldn’t be prouder. I could be a little more happy with her … after all, she called me with that voice and then refused to come home as soon as possible. Rather, she stayed on site and took care of her patients.
I’ll forgive her for that. After all, she called me first.
More
SCVNews.com: SCV Man Arrested….
LA Times: Man Kills Wife, Then Goes To Nursing Home….
Bullying in 2013 2 comments
This weekend I had an interesting conversation with a friend who is a speech pathologist. We both work in schools with active anti-bullying programs. Because we are both employed by public schools, we had to receive training to recognize the different types of bullying and how to prevent them.
We’ve seen young children ‘test’ mean statements on one another. After the child sees a classmate or playmate become visually upset, he usually knows that mean behavior isn’t acceptable. The child usually feels guilty. He or she notices that bullying words have a negative effect, thus preventing further bullying. The internet has changed this learning dynamic. When a child practices bullying online, he or she doesn’t get to see the hurt they’ve caused. They don’t suffer the negative repercussions. So what would trigger a psychological reaction to prevent future bullying? Nothing.
So why is this important today? To start, social media use is at an all-time high. A Pew Research Center study of teen and adult social media use shows that 81% of teens are using some form of social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, etc. While I celebrate the technological literacy in teens, I mourn the amount of cyber bullying that is running rampant on the internet. In October, a 12-year-old girl took her own life after being bullied by two of her female classmates. These girls repeatedly told her that she was ugly, that no one liked her, that she should kill herself…so she did. Without adult supervision on the internet, teens can say and do what they want. Teens are even finding new social media sites because they’re trying to avoid their parents on Facebook.
So what can we do? It is our job as adults (and mine as an educator) to prevent bullying, both online and in person. If your child approaches you with a problem, LISTEN. It may not be the usual teenage drama. Watch for extreme changes in behavior (Note: I know that teens are bursting with hormones, but I’m not making a joke here. Extreme changes.). I know your child wants privacy, but safety needs to come first. In my short time as a teacher, I’ve seen too many teens terrorize one another over the internet, especially in junior high and high school. Coach your child on his or her options to remove a bully from their social media sites. Facebook allows you to delete friends and block them. You can report bullying to HR and have the bully’s account suspended. Instagram and Twitter have similar security measures. If a teen is being bullied over text messages, you can have the number blocked. Be open and honest with your teen. It may seem like an overreaction to go to such measures, but if it saves a child’s life, it’s worth it.
Remember, bullying and teasing are two different things. When a teen is bullying another teen, those words are designed to hurt. The internet is a great place to completely slander another person without having to suffer any consequences. A screen can’t show emotion, a screen doesn’t show an emotional reaction. Cyber bullies can hide behind anonymity and distance to do permanent psychological damage. Don’t let that damage become part of your child’s life.
Losing Our Hearts 1 comment
(Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
I’m a guy. That means I don’t enjoy shopping as much as some. Mainly, those of the fairer sex.
Given that I do not enjoy shopping as much as some … the news this week that Black Friday has become Black Thursday is simply wrong.
I understand that brick and mortar retailers are afraid. The reality, though, is that they think they must force their employees to work on what is a widely recognized holiday in order to make another dollar in profits.
The employees must support this corporate goal, or risk losing their jobs.
And we, as a society, lose a little bit of our soul. Giving thanks? No longer as important.
I will not support these business through the holiday season, as they believe their profits are more important than our cultural tradition of giving thanks.
Oh, and the Old Navy Stores? The worst of the worst.
More
USA Today: Retail Thanksgiving Store Opening Times
NBC News: Retailers Sweeten The Pot
When Customer Service Really Isn’t 3 comments
I am a Diet Coke drinker. Addict. Obsessed person. I have a soda in my hands from morning ’til night. Actually, that’s not the whole picture. My Bubba Keg with Diet Coke sits on my nightstand overnight, too, so I can have a wee sip in the dark of the night.
I love Diet Coke.
So, when they began a rewards program for their customers, it was inevitable that I would sign on. My Coke Rewards has been one of my annoying little habits for several years now; I dutifully enter the codes found under caps and inside cardboard containers of all Coke products. That must make me a model customer. A loyal customer.
I really want to like the program … one of the first rewards that we claimed was a discounted hotel package to stay at Yosemite National Park for a family vacation. We stayed at Yosemite Lodge at the Falls, and the family had a wonderful time. Courtesy of Diet Coke. It was a perfect, positive brand enhancement.
Picture perfect brand enhancement!
All good, right?
I am sad they haven’t offered that or any other comparable award since. I’ve had to make do with gift cards and the occasional kitchen utensil (for guess who).
Two days ago, I got an email telling me that if I entered codes from 12-packs, I would get double points. Winner! I dutifully dug into the drawer, and found some 12-pack codes waiting to be entered. Logged into my account.
And found that I had been robbed.
I had amassed a few thousand points, but they were gone. I went into the account history, and found that someone had gotten a $50 gift card and a $20 video game reward from my account. But it wasn’t me.
Hacked.
I found the way to email the My Coke Rewards customer service folks, and sent them my tale of woe. I quickly got a form email back telling me they’d respond in 48 hours. No problem. Today, I got the response.
Here’s the subject line of the email they sent me addressing my problem:
剅㨠䵹⁃潫攠剥睡牤猠䝥湥牡氠䅳獩獴慮捥
When I replied to the email, here is the header information from their email that automatically copied into my email:
㱄䥖慮朽敮猠捬慳猽併瑬潯歍敳獡来䡥慤敲汩杮㴢汥晴∠䑉刽≌呒∠獴祬攽❢潲摥爺湯湥㭢潲摥爭瑯瀺獯汩搠⍂㕃㑄䘠ㄮば琻灡摤楮机㌮ば琠ど渠㌮ば琠ど渻㭦潮琭獩穥㨻景湴ⵦ慭楬示∢✾‼䈾㰯䈾†‼䉒㸠㱂㸼⽂㸠㱂刾†‼䈾㰯䈾⁒䔺⁍礠䍯步⁒敷慲摳⁇敮敲慬⁁獳楳瑡湣攼䉒㸠‼⽄䥖㸼䑉嘾㱂刾㰯䑉嘾
At this point, I’m not feeling too warm and fuzzy. I’m also not feeling very Korean (or whatever language that is).
I then read the email below … which was in English, luckily:
Dear Henry,
Thank you for contacting MyCokeRewards.com and for taking the time to share your thoughts with us.
While we are not aware of any technical issues regarding the e-gift cards, we’d like to share this information with our technical teams. Please reply directly to this message with the following information:
– Does anyone else have access to the account?
– Do you access your account from home, work, library etc..?
– Had you downloaded any new software prior to the unauthorized transactions?
– Have any of your other personal accounts been affected (bank, credit card, etc…)?
Translation: isn’t it really YOUR fault that this happened? They ask me 4 questions, and all 4 assume that I have made a mistake to defeat their perfect security system. After all, as the email states, “we” are not aware of any technical issues. So it must be “you.”
Then they deliver the bitter pill, wrapped in aspartame (as befits a diet drink):
We’ll be happy to refund your points for the purchases in your account. Please note this is being done as a one-time gesture of goodwill. Therefore, we ask that you change your MCR password for security purposes. Once you have done so, let us know and we’ll refund your points as promised.
Two real problems here:
1. They’re willing – happy, even – to refund my points. That’s implies there was a problem with my usage of the points, so they will balance the account by returning the funds used. They don’t say they will replace the points, which is more accurate, and less inflammatory.
2. They want me to change my MCR password. Uh, OK, what’s that? Then it hit me: MCR = My Coke Rewards. I’m just not hip enough to know their jargon. Classic customer service problem … you have to speak in your customer’s language (blew that one again, didn’t they!). By using jargon, they were actually talking down to me instead of communicating clearly what needed to happen.
We recommend that you take necessary steps to ensure continued security of your account. For example, you may also wish to update the password to the email address linked to your MCR account. We also suggest that you do not share your user name and/or password with anyone.
They then went on to tell me they recommend I take steps to change the password on my email account … you know, because they hadn’t messed enough things up for me. And, by the way, my email account password is DIFFERENT from the password that My Coke Rewards has … so even if my email was hacked (it wasn’t), the hacker wouldn’t have gained access to my precious points in, uh, MCR.
We look forward to hearing back from you.
If you have any other questions, feel free to contact us again.
Sincerely,
Luerena
Now, I don’t know who Luerena is, but she speaks for the entire Coca-Cola corporation when she tells me that “we” are looking forward to hearing from me.
They heard from me.
Was I snarky about the foreign language? You bet.
Was I snarky about their blame on me for no reason? You bet.
Did they replace the points in the account? You bet.
Thank goodness. I can’t imagine switching to Diet Pepsi.
The Right Tool Leave a comment
Getting a job done properly is not necessarily a sign of an amazing talent or skill. Sometimes its just having the right tool.
Knowing what the right tool is … now THAT is wisdom. Knowing how to use a tool? That’s a skill.
In my case, the right tool is a tattoo wash bottle.
Yup, of all the guys I know, a tattoo wash bottle is about the LEAST likely tool that I would ever need. But this tool gets the job done.
What job?
Our refrigerator has an automatic ice maker. Yes, I’m spoiled. The ice is made automatically without the need for those clumsy, broken ice cube trays.
When it works.
The problem is that the ice maker fills by directing the water to flow through a short, flexible black tube that focuses the stream through a chute and into the reservoir.
When it works.
When it doesn’t work, it’s always because the black tube has become frozen solid with an icicle that blocks the water flow. So, how do you unfreeze a tube with a minimum of fuss?
Solution # 1 was to call a repairman, before we knew about the unfocused ice accumulator that is our ice maker. The repairman put water in a nifty little injector with a long wire tip, and the problem was solved in moments. He left the house a bit richer, and I was standing there a bit poorer wondering why I was so ignorant of the ways of the ice maker. We didn’t call the repairman to unfreeze the black tube again.
Solution # 2 was to improvise a tool that could direct a stream of hot water into the black tube and unfreeze it. DIY at its best. Unfortunately, the closest we had was an old salad dressing squeeze bottle that had an short tip that was about 1/4″ across. That directed the water in the general direction, but the tip was too short and inflexible to get in the right position. The inevitable result was that water went everywhere when we had to unfreeze the ice maker.
And I do mean everywhere.
We put a dish towel under the ice maker to soak up all we could, but it was a total mess, every time.
So I began to search for a better tool. Once I found the tattoo squirt bottle, the amount of water needed to unfreeze the tube dropped from about 20 ounces to about 1 ounce. The mess went from really annoying to no mess at all.
I wasn’t any smarter. I wasn’t more skillful.
But I had the right tool.
We could need more shoes Leave a comment
Art is a wonderful thing.
Being Me Leave a comment
I’ve never understood Halloween. Not really.
I know what it’s like to put on a costume … but the fuss about being someone/something else has always seemed like a canard to me (HA. Humor, coming at you). So, I do my best to not participate in that thing called All Hallows’ Eve.
These days, I make sure the kids are here to answer the door … they like that. And that’s a very good thing. Me, I’m upstairs with a glass of something tasty, avoiding the ever dwindling madding crown in our aging neighborhood.
The Moonwalking Marching Band 2 comments
Ohio State did a tribute to Michael Jackson on the 25th anniversary of the Bad album.
The full show is on the link below, but this .gif shows a spectacular highlight. Watch the video to see the moonwalking tribute come together at normal speed, at 4:00 of the video. The moonwalking starts at 4:44.
Ohio State’s Moonwalking Marching Band!
