On Friday, Yahoo! released a list of “The Nation’s Worst National Parks.” The National Park Service took some umbrage with any Park being designated “worst” … and released this photo response.





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Gates of the Arctic National Park
On Friday, Yahoo! released a list of “The Nation’s Worst National Parks.” The National Park Service took some umbrage with any Park being designated “worst” … and released this photo response.
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Gates of the Arctic National Park
1. Plot revenge on Velda, who has infected me … twice this month. There is nothing good about that. I mean, what did I ever do to her?
2. Do a guy thing, and watch ESPN. Unfortunately, it proved to be unwatchable with wall-to-wall coverage of Sunday’s Superbowl … which just doesn’t interest me that much. The players seem to be thugs: millionaires that I could care less about. The coaches are proven cheaters. No UCLA fan could ever support Pete Carroll. I’ll watch the game, but could I watch hours of breathless coverage about what these league champions say or don’t say? No way.
3. Binge watch a TV series … I watched 10 episodes of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I thought the show was good … but since I could enjoy it in my condition, maybe I should reconsider.
4. Sleep.
5. Drink.
6. Take drugs.
7. Go to bed early, which I did … only to wake up at 2am. So, what to do?
8. Watch a romantic comedy, of course. The movie was About Time. As the movie poster says, from the creator of “Love Actually” and “Notting Hill.” The protagonist (Domhnall Gleeson, who you may remember as Bill Weasley) is described as a ginger, and he got the girl (Rachel McAdams). I remember having red hair, and anytime a guy with red hair gets a beautiful girl, that’s a good thing. I mean, it happened to me, so it could happen to anyone.
9. Go to bed late.
10. Sleep.
11. Unfortunately, prepare to repeat.
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1. Nag her to call in. She hasn’t seemed to connect the idea that she cares for SICK PEOPLE with the idea that it’s bad to do that when she IS a SICK PEOPLE.
2. Enjoy nagging her. It’s your only opportunity to do that.
3. Make her repeat everything she wants. Two reasons: 1) it is really annoying to her, and 2) she says everything wrong the first time, anyway. It’s really funny. When she’s running hot, the brain doesn’t connect names of things very well. Or, maybe, she really doesn’t know the name of anything in the first place. In any event, never rely on her first description of anything, from bottles of drugs to locations for the thermometer. And the TV remote. And her glass of water. And any thing else that’s now on her “Go Get Me…” list.
My little paid professional, when she graduated with her RN from the LA County School of Nursing. 1980.
4. Avoid her as much as possible. Clearly, she’s infectious. Ewwww.
5. While avoiding her, work in the garage woodshop and make a lot of noise. It’s best if she isn’t comfortable being sick. That’s just for her own good.
6. When you inevitably get sick, don’t allow her to care for you in any way. She won’t, anyway, because she always expects to be paid to care for sick people. Since you can’t afford her daily rate, just suffer. Publicly. Maybe you’ll get some sympathy, eventually. If not, at least you still haven’t had to pay her for medical care.
7. Don’t tell other people she is sick. After all, since she is a paid professional, this could serve to undermine her professional reputation.
8. Don’t do her household chores. If you do it and make it look so easy to keep up, it’ll be your job next week. She’s still making fun of your cooking after 15 years … so don’t go there.
In case you’re wondering, the flu bug has bitten Velda this week. She’s tried to hack up a lung, and nearly succeeded yesterday. Yes, she had her flu shot, and no, it did nothing good this year. Oh well. She got new drugs yesterday; I’m sure she’ll be better in a day or two. If I’m lucky, she’ll never see this top secret plan I have to, uh, care for her.
First baby owl of the year spotted at Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge in Washington. Photo by Louise Whitehead. Tweeted by the US Department of the Interior, 1/26/15.
Happy 100th birthday, Rocky Mountain National Park! On this day in 1915, President Woodrow Wilson signed a law that established Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. Today, the park’s 415 square miles encompass and protect spectacular mountain environments. Visitors can experience the subalpine and alpine worlds on Trail Ridge Road and enjoy more than 300 miles of hiking trails, wildflowers, wildlife and starry nights. Photo of sunrise at Rocky Mountain’s Bear Lake by Ric Cederhold. Posted on Tumblr by the US Department of the Interior, 1/26/15.
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Check out this epic sunset from Zabriskie point, in Death Valley National Park. Photo by Mahendiran Mohan. Tweeted by the US Department of the Interior, 1/24/15.
Located in the Gulf of Mexico on Florida’s barrier island Sanibel, the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge is part of the largest undeveloped mangrove ecosystem in the United States. The refuge is world famous for its spectacular migratory bird populations — providing an important habitat to over 230 species of birds. The best months to visit for birding are December through March during low tide when the birds are feeding on the exposed mud flats.
Sunset photo by Al Hoffacker. Posted on Tumblr by the US Department of the Interior, 1/23/15.