The Board Chronicles is an ongoing series of articles about the adventures of Mr M’s Woodshop as a vendor at community festivals & craft fairs. Learn about the horrors of The Road. Read the impossible demands of the people that know what I should really be doing. In short, it’s the comedy of errors that has become my life, presented here, like my cutting boards, as simple unvarnished truth. All for your amusement … and for the good of vendor-kind.
I was very excited about journeying to Northern California to be a part of the California Artisan Cheese Festival in Santa Rosa. I’ve always been focused on serving pieces, and this seemed like a very nice, targeted event.
The year was 2020, and then the world went to hell.
The 2020 event was cancelled due to covid, of course, like almost every public event in California that year. And again in 2021. And, for many events especially early in the year, 2022 was not different. For 3 years, this event was lost to me.
Finally, 2023 became a new opportunity. Thank goodness.
This Festival is a series of events over a long weekend with artisan cheese classes, food pairing events, farm tours and more. On Sunday afternoon, a vendor event is produced with a very large group of artisanal cheese producers – many with their own herds for true farm-to-table cheese – as well as related vendors including vintners, brewers, distillers … and woodworkers, among others. About 100 vendors were gathered for this 5 hour event.
New Ideas
I broke many rules to do this event.
This is a one-day, 5 hour event. I don’t do one-day events.
Since this event was 400 miles away from our home, I had to drive and stay in a hotel for … a one-day, 5 hour event. That never would have happened independently of any other good ideas, so…
Mrs M made a rare appearance at this event, playing the part of a Foodie enjoying the best of cheese while I was working like a dog in the booth. So, the event became the *excuse* to do a long weekend in Wine Country. We spent 5 days visiting Healdsburg, Sonoma, St Helena, and more. If you like wine, if you like food, if you like to wander … wine country is a great getaway.
Since I was all in for the event, the first event of 2023 … I created Serving Trays as a base for Charcuterie Kits to debut at this event.
I didn’thave walls (the event is indoors at the county fairgrounds, no canopies/frames allowed), so I could not hang pictures. And I had just done nice photography of the charcuterie kits … so I did a thing. I produced a Power Point presentation to show on my tablet, which was mounted on the table above the serving trays. The mount cost all of $22 and displayed the “boards in action” photos that really help illustrate what my boards can help you do. New presentation idea, powered by a portable battery we have to re-charge cellphones at un-powered events. Worked like a charm!
This was a getaway weekend, with a destination of a single booth at a targeted event … so I left the trailer at home, and packed the truck with what I needed. The limiting factor of the truck meant I left many products at home, but focused exclusively on serving pieces appropriate for artisanal cheese, charcuterie boards … or whatever people serve things on.
Observations
The display was more farmer’s market than fancy art boutique. It was a very casual atmosphere, a table top event (which, again, I never do these days). The promoter provided 2 8′ tables with short table cloths. I brought an additional 4′ table, and that was the total base of the display.
We arrived at 8a, and were set up by 9:30. The event didn’t start until 11, so we were perhaps a bit early. But you never know what the challenges are at a new event in an unfamiliar venue. It’s good to relax and check out the event before the masses arrive.
Mrs M being there means that she messes with my display. She improves the look of the booth, she says. She makes it better, she says. She increases sales, she says.
I have no idea what she’s talking about.
The floor was busy during this event. Estimated attendance of 1,500, all there to sample cheese and wine … and beer and nuts and bread and whatever vendors were giving away. Lines were 20+ people deep, 8-10 minutes for a “hot” vendor like Cowgirl Creamery or Beehive Cheese Company.
I had talked to the promoters about my unique presentation (compared to the food vendors sampling their creations, I was the weird one). They put me in a corner booth so people could walk on 2 sides of the booth. That was good.
They also put me across the building, in front of the bandstand. That was bad. (The band was primarily acoustic with a banjo, clarinet, tuba and percussionist. Very fun Americana music and not too loud.)
They also put me on the path to the bathroom. That was good. I guess.
Booth locations are something that I do my best to ignore, honestly. Vendors don’t control them. Why get upset about where you are when it’s someone else’s decision? I’ve run events. I’ve assigned vendors to booth locations. I’ve also dealt with upset vendors that just lost their minds because their location … wasn’t whatever they thought it should be. I don’t want to be that guy. My location was FINE. People could see me. We were not blocked by a line. If people were looking for a wooden object, they knew where I was.
But I brought cheese boards … I didn’t bring chess boards. That was a request. As were book shelves. I politely said sorry! … just as I happily dispensed free advice on how to deal with a permanently mounted wooden cutting board embedded into a stone counter. I am old, so I must be wise. I guess.
There were actually 4 woodworkers there. Two were really focused on traditional cutting boards and one exclusively made seascape resin boards using that dreaded bulbous grass, AKA bamboo, as their base. Truly I did not compete with any of them.
My first 3 sales were Charcuterie Kits and Serving Trays. Vindicated, I was.
And I said that out loud to the Lady. So, of course, I didn’t sell another one.
For a five hour event that was an excuse to drive 400 miles … this was a winner. I sold enough to pay the entire hotel bill, gas and vendor fee. The Lady got to geek out on cheese … and found the highly-sought cheeses that are used in the world’s best grilled cheese sandwich (found at the Rustic Bakery & Muir Woods National Forest) as well as the fabulous Very Adult Mac & Cheese from the Market in St Helena. Both of these dishes served as destinations for us during the weekend, so buying the necessary cheeses was a great coup.
Sometimes, going a-vendoring is about the journey, not the destination. I’m taking the win on this one.
The Food
When we travel, the Lady busies herself in the passenger seat stalking restaurants in our destination city to choose the ultimate, best dinner she could find. It’s her thing. This trip, however, it just worked out that we did lunches as our culinary adventures, and “settled” for take out most evenings.
Best Meal: Pizza Verde at The Journeyman, an Italian charcuterie in Healdsburg that makes their own sausage salumi. The pizza featured soppressata, an Italian sausage sometimes made by pressing the meat between 2 boards. It was amazing. And we just might have purchased a lot of sausage to bring home. And a guillotine to cut it. And joined their meat club. Hey, we were on vacation.
The Other Best Meal: A pannini-style grilled cheese sandwich, the Marin Melt, with Rustic Bakery‘s Honey Whole Wheat bread, Two cheeses are combined: Cowgirl Creamery Mt Tam and Point Reyes Toma cheese.
Honorable Mention: Very Adult Mac & Cheese, The Market, St Helena. I added chicken, the Lady added crab. Draw your own conclusions. We had this dish a few years ago when we visited Little Girl at her nearby college, Sonoma State in Rohnert Park. Simply fabulous food. Worthy of being a destination.
Worst Meal: We went out one night, Monday night. Most restaurants were closed (oops). Choice # 1 was an Italian restaurant that wanted reservations (double oops). Desperation drove us to another relatively well reviewed Italian restaurant, Alfredo’s in Petaluma. It was horrid. Made the Lady sick, even. My belief is the Mexican American cooks had no clue how to follow the Italian recipes they were given. Every dish was just … off. Mrs M later found a couple of bad reviews that talked about “cooks in training.” Sorry, not for a dinner costing over $100 for 2 with no alcohol.
The Facts
Total miles driven: 852
Booth cost: $250
# of people we met during the event from the producer: 4
Visits in the booth by a promoter’s representative: several
Returning next year? Yes. This is a great event for cheese enthusiasts … and Mr M’s Woodshop belongs there.
I make these Deviled Egg Platters to help make the world a better place. They are difficult to make: each one takes 9 hours to carve on my CNC. It takes about 90 minutes to hog out most of the waste with a 1/4″ end mill, and then a 1/16″ tapered ballnose bit advances 1/100″ with each pass to make the egg cups as smooth as possible.
Labor of Love, they are.
Here are the latest 11 that I have completed. 2 are already gone. The 9 remaining will be going to Bishop Mule Days over Memorial Day weekend … so if you would like one of these for your holiday table, speak now and I will get it shipped to you, no problem.
When I started making these, everyone called them surfboards.
They aren’t really shaped like surfboards, but they have a certain curvy shape that takes people there.
But, then I started making actual surfboard-shaped serving pieces or cutting boards (you choose how to use them!). I needed to rename these pieces, so … well, I am known for my creativity (well, sometimes).
Large Serving Piece was the perfect name. Name the thing what it is, that’s what I think. Creativity can only confuse people at this point.
The LSPs are made with cove cuts on all 4 sides. Cove cuts are made taking the piece across the front edge of the table saw blade, moving sideways – not through the blade with a straight cut. This makes a large sweeping curve which is unique to this piece.
And making those cove cuts spews sawdust everywhere. Saw blades are made to capture sawdust between the saw teeth, and return it to below the table of the table saw for dust collection. The sideways movement of this cut interrupts that flow … and I’m left with a fine sawdust over the entire shop as well as an 1″ of sawdust under foot after making these pieces.
Once the cove cuts are done, then the piece gets the signature oval-ish shape cut on the band saw, and then the LSP is smoothed with 2x different random orbital sanders. 4x non-skid rubber feet held on with stainless steel screws complete the piece, which floats lightly on the table.
When I was an itty bitty, if you can imagine such a thing, I was allergic to eggs. They gave me a rash. But, good news, whenever we went to a pot luck dinner at the lodge, or a family gathering, or whatever … someone would always bring deviled eggs.
And I would always sneak 1 or 3 when Mom wasn’t looking.
So I ate my way out of the allergy. Built up a tolerance, I did.
Deviled Eggs: a savory treat from a wicked chicken. Love ’em.
So, I knew that as I built out my offerings of serving pieces, I would be making Deviled Egg Platters. The world needs great serving pieces, and I am happy to help. And if Deviled Eggs just happen to get made by more people more often, well, life will be better for us all.
You’re welcome.
It took 2 years to design these platters, which each hold 24 Deviled Eggs. I worked with a designer in the Philippines who had more skills in 3D design … and less affinity for Deviled Eggs, come to find out. The design is exactly what I wanted, though. These are shaped on the CNC, as you might expect, and each platter takes 9 hours to carve. These are a labor of love; I make them to make the world a better place.
The platters are 14″ across, and 7/8″ thick. They are made for 2 sided use: the back is plain, and would allow you to serve appetizers, charcuterie, or whatever you might like on the flat surface.
Not that I understand why anyone would do this, when they could make more Deviled Eggs.
Personally, I prefer the Platters made with white/yellow/red woods (to match the Deviled Eggs), so I use a lot of Bloodwood, Hard Maple, Osage Orange, Canarywood, Yellowheart, Bubinga and Makore. Your mileage may vary, of course, so I will make others with a more varied color palatte. Eventually.
I made 7x of these last last year, and 4x were given to family. That left 3x to take to my final event of the year, Santa’s Art Shop … and all 3x were sold in 90 minutes. Time after time, I heard the exclamation, “OH, my friend/cousin/Aunt/Mother/Friend always makes Deviled Eggs, and she would LOVE ONE OF THESE.
Happy to be of service. They will be back in stock in February. Meanwhile, you are welcome to order one, here.
Most of these are single items that got finished after the main batch was done for some odd reason. The MBO just got misplaced. The Cracker Thing needed another end cut. The sign (I actually made 6) was one that didn’t get made when I “completed” the rest of my inventory of signs.
For whatever reason, here are 8 different kinds of items that just finished.
A few notes on the bread saws, as I made a very large batch of them:
There are 7 different kinds of woods here – Sapele, Hard Maple, Padauk, Purpleheart, Goncalo Alves, Cherry & Osage Orange.
My biggest injury in months was when my driver slipped and the bread saw blade went into my thumb. I actually used a band aid. These blades are sharp!
These pictures have the blade guards installed on every saw except for the one featured in the picture of the Purpleheart Bread Saws. Safety First!
A few of these Bread Saws have cord tied around the bow holding the saw blade. That’s how I identify left handed models.
There are 2 stories about this new thing I’ve made … and I’ve only just made them. Stories are like that sometimes.
#1. I often post pictures of my work when it makes it to the finish line. The finish line is usually a row of tables and a chunk of melamine set up in the driveway, so the finish line is about 50 square feet of stuff. These new Sectioned Dip Servers made it to the finish line this week, I posted pictures, and 2 sold before the oil was dry. That’s not unprecedented, but it is unusual.
Sometimes, things just work, y’know?
#2. At the finish line, food contact products get a coat or 3 of mineral oil. Most of them then get a coat of Mrs M’s Board Butter, which is mineral oil mixed with locally-harvested beeswax. And it’s at this point, that the tale takes a dark turn.
I placed a few dobs of Board Butter in one particular Dip Server, picked it up to hand rub the finish … and the board flew out of my hands. I tried to catch it, touched it … lost it.
The brand new, almost-finished Dip Server found the driveway, and that was that.
Sometimes, things just don’t work, y’know?
The rim was cracked for about 6″, in addition to the chunk that was broken out entirely. Back to the shop to make another!
The, uh, surviving dip servers are 14″ in diameter. They have a center circle, holding an 8 ounce ramekin for the dip du jour. The rest of the piece is divided into 4 sections to help you organize your presentation.
Flip the piece over, and you’ve got a smooth, circular space for charcuterie, cheese & crackers, or whatever. You serve what you like … just send me a pretty picture, OK?
Note that this is the 2nd Dip Server I’ve made recently. There’s a smaller, square version as well (which being the creative type, I call “Dip Servers”); a link to that post is below.
The 8x Sectioned Dip Servers that remain in inventory will be traveling with me to Prescott, AZ for the Arts & Crafts Fair on the courthouse square that’s associated with Prescott’s World’s Oldest Rodeo. It’s July 3-5, right by Whiskey Row. Hope to see you there!
I love cheese & crackers, and I’m in search of the ultimate servers for them. I keep finding new ideas that are just too good not to make.
But, one does not live by cheese alone. Sometimes, you need some dip, too.
These dip servers are 13″ square and have a 6 ounce ramekin in the corner for your favorite dip. Plus, these are 2-sided servers, so you can flip the Dip Server to the back and have a square surface for … cheese & crackers, charcuterie, or your favorite appetizer.
Knowing that the best way for me to show new ideas is with pictures of the boards in action, I was able to entice Mrs M to create some delectables so we could get great action shots.
Bonus: I get to eat the props. Here you see sourdough pretzel bites with beer cheese dip.
Double bonus: live healthy. Eat fruit & dip it in fresh whipped cream.
I’m very happy with these new serving pieces; they offer a new & different presentation. My friend, Jeff Hewitt of Culinary Woods, suggested this design was one I should make. He was oh, so right. Check out his work, here.
I have relaunched MrMsWoodshop.com so you can buy my work directly, and to celebrate this new endeavor, there are 2 promotional offers available right now. But, don’t delay – the offers expire on May 31:
Free shipping on all purchases over $50
Save 20% on all purchases site-wide with the promo code “MrMsLaunch”.
Harlan Howard coined the phrase in the 1950s: a Country song is 3 chords and the truth. You may know his work; he co-wrote both Patsy Cline’s “I Fall To Pieces” and Charlie Rich’s “She Called Me Baby.”
This all came to mind as I was thinking about writing these words on the search for great serving pieces, which has led me to 5 sections … and a plain side.
OK, so it’s not quite music, but the wood does sing to me at times.
Thank goodness.
The 5 Section Servers are 14″ square, and 1-1/8″ thick. You can use the side with partitions, or flip the piece over and use the plain, flat side, depending on how you want to arrange your presentation.
Some people like to color inside of the lines. Some don’t. It can work either way.
To contemplate Three Chords and the Truth, see Sara Evan’s performance, which is linked, below. To contemplate the 5 Section Servers, you’ll see the 23 new pieces below. If they sing to you, you can visit the new MrMsWoodshop.com to buy one, using these 2 special offers that are only good through May:
Free shipping on all orders over $50
Use the promo code “MrMsLaunch” to save 20% on all orders
I sold so many of these so quickly when I introduced them, that I knew I was in big trouble if I didn’t make them in quantity. Back in the day, I was planning on doing 10 big events in the 4th quarter this year, and I knew I would need at least 100 Cracker Things to make it through those events.
The year was 2019. Life was good.
But the calendar turned, 2019 became 2020 and none of us will forget this year anytime soon.
Will I need 100 Cracker Things?
Forget big, will I have any events this year?
Such are the questions that trouble me. No, that’s not true. I’m not troubled. Confused, I am. I mean, aren’t you?
But some things are very clear to me … such as the look of a perfectly appointed Cracker Thing:
I’m going to stick with what I know, and let the world figure out the rest. As I have sometimes heard over the last 739 days of this never-ending quarantine, my opinion doesn’t matter. But, I do know that while that may be the case, I can find solace in the garage woodshop. And, my solace just might be your Cracker Thing!
55 Cracker Things have made it to the finish line this week, and all are now available on my new website, MrMsWoodshop.com. If you read this blog, then you might know that – just until May 31 – I’m offering free shipping for orders over $50, and 20% off everything, site-wide, when you use the promo code “MrMsLaunch”.
Alas, I cannot bring back the California Grizzly Bear, which was last sighted in 1924 and declared extinct shortly thereafter. It was hunted to extinction after the gold rush caused ’49ers to encroach on the bears’ habitat.
I do have a couple of stories about the bear that first graced the flag of the very short-lived independent California Republic. That happened in 1846 … and apparently California has been dependent ever since.
Bear baiting, where bears were put into fights against bulls, were a big spectacle in the California of the 1800s. Horace Greeley, a newspaperman of great accomplishment, saw one of these fights and observed that a bear fought with a downward swipe while a bull countered with a horn’s upward thrust. This caused Greeley, it was said, to coin the terms of bear & bull markets for Wall Street.
This wasn’t fake news (joke! It’s a joke!), but it wasn’t true. The popular term (OK, not so popular with most) for a bear market has a very different beginning, which you can read about in Merriam Webster’s article, here.
California has plenty of wild spaces where grizzlies could thrive, but efforts over the last few decades to move up to 500 grizzlies back into California have not been successful. You can draw your own conclusions about whether California is wild enough to support the mighty grizzly bear.
The bears that I make are all from Black Walnut, and measure 19″ from nose to tail. They stand about 9-1/2″ high.
These bears and everything else that I make in the Woodshop are now available on my new site, MrMsWoodshop.com. Special offers for this one-time-only launch month are free shipping for any order over $50, and 20% off everything, site-wide, when you use the promo code “MrMsLaunch.”
Here’s the link to go straight to the page for these California Bears.
