I really got waylaid on the way to 2025. Mrs M went bionic this year, and got 2x new knees. We bought our new forever home in February while she was still fresh from surgery # 1 … and sold the home where we raised our family in May, right before surgery # 2. We stayed in the Santa Clarita Valley, but we moved about 8 miles to the wilds of Castaic.
This was a big idea … before we could move we needed to process the 37 years of, uh, accumulation that didn’t have to go to Castaic, but could not stay in Valencia. In addition, we decided to do an extensive remodel to our new home … and I acted as project manager. And with the shop in Valencia closing as we moved, I stopped making until I could get the shop back up.
And, tic toc. What is only the second event I am doing this year is coming at me like a freight train. This event is the ONLY event that I have done every year since Mr M’s Woodshop began in 2012. I couldn’t miss supporting this neighborhood scholarship fundraiser, so it was time to get on with the making. Or else there would be a fairly empty booth at the Saugus High Boutique Fantastique, and that was just not OK.
Here then, are pictures of 13x cutting boards that are the first made with my new table saw in my new shop. See them – and more! – this weekend, Saturday & Sunday 10a – 4p in the Centurion gymnasium. You’ll find me at the end aisle booth I’m always at: #222.
All of these cutting boards are made from hardwoods, both domestic and exotic. Those exotic woods come from Central & South America as well as Africa, and include Purpleheart, Zebrawood, Iroko, Brazilian Cherry and more.
First up, eye candy for you. The big end grain boards. All are approximately 16×22″, give or take an inch. Thickness is 1-5/8″. All come with 3/4″ wide juice grooves, non-skid rubber feet, weight as much as 15 pounds and are made for robust use.
Next up are 2 smaller, simpler cutting boards. These edge grain boards, perfect for smaller kitchens are 13×17″ and 16×19″.
Finally, I have eight new “Juicy Boards” which are perfect small cutting boards, or perhaps the best way to serve that steak Mrs M is promising me. These are all 11-1/2″ square and 7/8″ thick. I make them in pairs, but you can buy just one! That’s good, because one of the “brown blend” boards, the 3rd picture, is already sold.
It is GREAT to be back in the shop. I will be making new stuff all through November, including special orders … so for everyone I have disappointed this year because I was not available, now is the time to tell me what you want!
If only I had any storage. But the shop, for the first time, is basically functional.
February 19: We bought the house.
May 16: I moved in with Walter the cat. Mrs M followed a couple of weeks later.
October 19: Dust collection & floor tools were all up & running.
Yup, it took 8 months. But I can turn on any tool in the shop, and it has dust collection connected. Here’s what it looks like:
The ceiling is where I started … with 6″ ducting running to the 3x major distribution points in the shop. From there, the detail work got … harder.
This wall mount joint serving suction to the miter saw and the router table was the first one I put up … and ironically, the last one to be fully functional. Part of that had to do with the death of the router lift mechanism, with meant I had to buy another tool. Thank God Mrs M got her dream kitchen, so I have leverage for at least a few more days.
This funky joint in the center will not survive long. It serves suction to the new table saw & the planer, and does OK … but I used 4″ pipe and adjustable 90* elbows to get around the garage door when it is open, and those adjustable elbows – Home Depot specials – have, uh, adjusted. When the table saw gets the custom outfeed table (build in progress, but on hold due to other projects), then that table will provide superior anchor points to support the pipe as it descends from the ceiling & works around the moving garage door.
The “outfeed table” is currently a folding table and 2 large pieces of plywood stacked onto smaller pieces of plywood to give me the illusion of having an outfeed system. It is still my only assembly table in the shop.
This funny looking bunch of flexible hose actually feeds 4x blast gates for 4x different tools: my CNC, a floor sweep, the drum sander, and a bench feed for my oscillating spindle sander (perfect for concave curve smoothing).
The CNC also required some special design to deliver suction to the machine while avoiding the garage doors. The hose feeding the moving CNC router head needs cantilevered support, provided by the red painted pieces of plywood which are now standard throughout the shop for support tasks.
Beside the CNC, and between those garage doors, is a custom battery charging center for all of my Milwaukee tools. One place to go for all of the batteries. Finally. Kudos to my electrician, Ben of Precision Electric, that suggested this location because he was installing my “center stack” of outlets just below:
Tucked behind the CNC, and between the 2x garage doors, are individual circuits for each of the tools in the middle of the shop and in the tool line between the garage doors. 3x of these circuits are 220v, for the saw, planer & CNC router. 3x other circuits are regular 110v, for the drum sander, CNC computer and the, uh, refrigerator/freezer that Mrs M will not let me get rid of yet. Maybe someday it will leave the shop and give me more room for … well, my stuff in my shop.
I am an optimist, you see.
The biggest problem with the shop NOW is that I have virtually no storage … my old workbench has 4x drawers. Other than that, I have floor space, wall space and corners I can’t get into because of all of the stuff that is laying around waiting on me to build custom shop cabinets to hold everything.
The truck needed gas, so I did what you do. I looked at the marquee for a local Shell Oil that was on my way … and it said the price for Cash/Debit was $4.19/gallon (I live in California. I am used to paying the highest gasoline prices in America.)
But I digress.
I took out my debit card, waved the RFID chip at the reader, and was approved directly. Off we go. As I got the nozzle into the tank and started the fill-up, I looked back at the pump … and now it said $4.29.
What the hell?
OK, I was in a mood. I can be that guy. As Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday said in Tombstone, “I’ll be your huckleberry.”
I had been reading accounts of businesses putting in ghost charges without warning. Restaurants charging “mandatory” “tip” fees. Stuff like that. But on this day, I’m not playing.
The marquee was crystal clear: debit cards = cash price. I used a debit card but was charged the “credit” price.
I finished the fill-up and walked into the gas station’s store. Waited in line. Walked up to the register and told the young lady I needed to talk to the manager. She said OK and walked over to get him.
I explained the situation … and the manager seemed to have heard it before. He did immediately agree to refund the $2.10 I was overcharged, as he explained that this was a pump setting that he did not control.
I suggested the owner must control it … but no, he said it was Shell corporate, who charges the credit price automatically for “tap & pay” transactions. If only I had inserted the card into the pump reader, THEN I would have been charged the debit price (he said). But since I did the tap & pay thing, the higher rate applied.
Not that this was disclosed. Not that this was how they marketed their rates to the unsuspecting public. And speaking as a retailer selling handmade serving pieces & such in Mr M’s Woodshop … I know I am charged the exact same credit card fees when my customer uses tap & pay, inserts their card into the chip reader, or when they swipe their card in the reader. The fee is the same for me … but mighty Shell is trying to game the system to add a 10 cent/gallon ghost charge for their unsuspecting customers.
Caveat emptor: let the buyer beware.
I HATE when retailers lie to their customers. I’m rather obsessed with this idea – always have been. Sellers either believe their customers are smart or stupid … and they treat them accordingly. I am in favor of sellers that respect me … and will not do business with those that don’t.
The transaction was 12:28pm on 8/20/2025 at the Shell Oil station, 31786 The Old Road, Castaic, CA 91384. Yes, I have the receipt.
The centerpiece of the kitchen is the large island Mrs M wanted. How big is it?
As big as it could be.
We wanted the island to be surrounded by a 42″ aisle on all sides. And we didn’t want a seam in the island counter top … we wanted it to be one piece of stone. We found a quartzite slab from Brazil that we liked, and it delivered an island that is 10′-6″ x 5′. That is 52-1/2 square feet, and the google machine tells me that a quartzite slab that size that is 2 centimeters thick would weigh over 1,000 pounds.
The all-knowing google also says “professional installation required.” You got that right.
A crew of 8 showed up to move the vertical slab from the truck, across the driveway, up 3 steps, through the living room … and then transform it into a horizontal showpiece on top of Mrs M’s island.
It was the best show in town last week.
This is about to get real.2 tubes of caulk dispensed in about 30 seconds.Note the long stiffening rods held on with suction cups. No bending allowed.Everybody ready?Slowly … Then it went fast.Watch your fingers!Tweaking…It’s done.And then tension released.Drilling, plumbing … all to come.
This is the master vanity. Also, the dish washing area. Mirrors will get hung on the wall. Paint & electric … finishing work to come.
When I last wrote you, I eagerly anticipated getting the master bath (AKA primary bath. Discussed below) together in the next week. (cue laugh track) Here we are, after 18 days and we just got the functional vanity in the our bathroom.
If you have remodeled your house, you know where I’m going with this. The process is impossibly long. It is unexpectedly painful. And, eventually, the couple begins to divide the marital assets.
Our Master Bathroom Vanity was installed. It had sinks. It had water. It had drains. It had drawers. So, Mrs M claimed a sink. And she claimed a drawer beneath that sink. Apparently.
I recognized this as the opening of negotiations that would have life-long import. Time to recognize our new status and claim what is mine.
He said: “I see that you have claimed a sink.”
She said: … (editor’s note: Thus began a 2 minute speech on the value of the sink she chose, why she chose it and why she began putting stuff in the drawer below. She included other supposedly relevant information. The speech was 2 minutes. I have no idea what she said.)
He said: “So you want the sink on the right.”
She said: “Yes.” (editor’s note: Ah, clarity. That elusive muse that haunts my every waking minute)
He said: “I want a drawer.”
She said: “Why do you need a drawer? You don’t need a drawer.”
He said: “I need a place to put my stuff without having to search for it and fight to open the drawer because of all of your stuff. I want a drawer.”
She said: “You don’t need a drawer. You don’t have that much stuff.”
He said: “I want a drawer beneath my sink. I can store my stuff there.”
She said: “So you’ll keep all of your deodorant, shampoo & hair spray there?” (editor’s note: this is the end of the list of my toiletries. 3 items, with back ups.)
He said: “Yes, I’ll keep my stuff in my drawer.”
She said: “I have researched containers to help us organize things in the drawers. But you don’t need a drawer. You don’t have that much stuff.”
He said: “I would be OK if you put shared items, like Q-Tips, in my drawer. But nothing else.
She said: “We’ll see.”
He said: “I want a drawer for my stuff.”
She … changed the subject. No confirmation.
I want a drawer.
Mrs M’s drawer. Before her new, mythical organization tools. Apparently.
This is my drawer, if you believe possession is the same as ownership. The glaring asymmetry of the drawer cut-out is because the drain pipe had to avoid the earthquake sheer wall, so the drain has a longer diagonal run under the left sink than the more direct run under the right sink, which was claimed by Mrs M because it had more storage space. Her ultimate evil plan, I expect.
The lower drawers are not affected by the plumbing. Storage galore.
LeftRight
The Master Controversy
Early on in our house hunt, I (again) learned that I was not with it. Not current. Out of fashion. Old. All of that.
“Master Suite,” “Master Bedroom,” “Master Bathroom” … are all hopelessly out of date. Today’s society has no Masters. Only Primaries. Apparently.
News to me.
And since I am old and resistant to change, I will forever say we have a Master Bedroom. Not a Primary Bedroom. Deal with it.
We bought a perfectly lovely home and then tore it up.
Flooring. Cabinetry. Bathrooms. It all had to go. Remodeling is not for the faint of heart.
Truly.
Perhaps nothing was harder to face than the master bathroom. Learned much, I did.
The 22-year old bathroom had a small shower, an old Jacuzzi tub and a 2-sink counter with a make-up mirror & bench in the middle. It all had to go. We decided we wanted a soaker tub, a larger walk-in shower with a bench, and no make-up station.
This remodel would get intense.
First, we had a plan. To scale. It answered a lot of questions … but not all of them, we found.
This almost-to-scale graph paper sketch drove our design, start to finish. It may not be state of the art … but it’s MY state of the art. And, it was good enough. Almost.
A couple of issues came up almost immediately … this plan moved the shower head to a different wall and the shower drain next to the wall. This plan also moved the bathtub drain and and plumbing fixtures. I had no idea what this would mean.
No idea.
Here is the Post Tension Slab warning, stamped in the concrete in a front corner of the garage. That message is now covered up with epoxy. Ooopsie.
We bought a house with a post tension slab. A notice to that effect was stamped in the concrete in the corner of the garage. Unusual, I thought. Well, not really. Just outside of my experience. Thankfully, the plumber & the contractor/groomsman knew what they were doing. We would need to hire a radar guy.
Huh?
A post tension slab is often used on hillsides (we are) to create a more stable slab of concrete to build on (just about all Southern California homes are slab construction). Posts are set on the edges of the concrete, and then a cable is stretched between posts to form a grid pattern. Yes, rebar is often put in concrete, and that’s not what this is. This is … cables. Under tension. In a grid pattern throughout the slab.
OK, but here’s the important part. One must not cut a cable. Ever. Cut a cable UNDER TENSION and bad things will happen. The cable can whip out of the concrete and cut whatever is in its path. People die. Walls crack.
You know, bad things.
So, you want to move drains? You want to move plumbing? You have to scan the post tension slab to locate where the cables are as one MUST NOT cut a cable. And have no fear, the contractor knew a guy.
This guy showed up with a tablet and what looked like a really big mouse, about the size of 2 fists … and preceded to move the mouse over the floor to magically find the cables and how deep they were. You could tell the size & depth of the things in the slab easily. This information was then painted onto the concrete so we would know what we were dealing with.
Our bathroom.
Then the concrete got cut and the plumbers dug *around & under* the cables to see what’s what. That resulted in our bathroom beginning to look like a … construction zone with piles of dirt in the room and a fog of concrete dust wafting throughout the house. For days. Oh, the dust. My spiffy new table saw, still not assembled, was stored in the empty master bedroom (where would you keep it?), and the cardboard boxes got coated in an unbelievable layer of dust.
And that’s where it got weird. Post tension cables are laid out in a grid, but we had one forming what looked like a triangle at the corner of the house. Odd, that. The plumbers kept digging … and they came to a frayed end of the cable. In the middle of my bathroom.
Bad things happen when you cut a cable. But they didn’t cut it. They swear. They found the END of a cable that was loose in the concrete. That frayed end was rusted, actually, so visually it was clear this was not a freshly severed end.
OK, decision time. What do you do?
After consulting with the groomsman and the plumber … we just kept swimming. We didn’t cut the cable. Nothing bad happened. Keep moving forward. The plumbers kept digging. But it felt like we broke our house.
To make sure the drain & tub filler plumbing would fit around the post tension cables, I CNC’d a rough tub template so everyone could see the fit. The manufacturer was no help, so I became a woodworker again.
Then we find that my plumbing purchase … my extensive plumbing purchase … did not include the necessary rough out kit for the tub filler. What is that, exactly? No clue. But it is what gets buried in the concrete to mount the tub filler assembly to. OK, great. We need one. Where is it? Oh, and we need it NOW.
I talked to our main plumbing fixture source, and he located a rough out kit that was only 30 miles away. I hopped in the truck, got it, delivered it, and got on with my day. That’s important, because that day, of all days, was my set up day for the KHTS Home & Garden Show in Santa Clarita, one of my key annual events which is sponsored by “your hometown radio station” that happens to be in our hometown. I was setting up a rare triple booth, all in, and I had to drop everything to go get this missing rough out kit. I did it, then returned to the event to set up my booth. It was a long day.
It was Friday, April 25.
So, here we are at the end of June and we have not progressed much, it seems. We still don’t have a shower. We haven’t used the tub, though it is functional at this point. Stone is not done. Walls are not painted. Plumbing, cabinetry, stone … those 3 trades may get finished next week. Here’s where we are, 4 months after we bought our forever home.
I’ll let you know if we have a good week. Maybe a lot will get done … like stone work, cabinetry & plumbing. Maybe.
We do have a functional toilet in the master … that is actually a bidet. That’s a French word for an appliance designed in Japan and manufactured in Viet Nam. Pretty fancy for a small town boy that remembers running water being put in the house. We only had an outhouse at home until I was 13.
Back to our computer-driven automatic toilet thingy. It knows when you approach and opens the lid. Do your business, and it will clean you up, flush when you arise and close the lid as you run away. Or maybe that’s just me.
Mrs M wanted to go fancy and who am I to say no? She has actually used the bidet. Me? Nope. I’m still too scared.
If you are interested in bidets, here is a review of the one we bought. As far as I’m concerned, watching it to see all of the, uh, creative language used to describe the process is worth your time. I think it’s laugh out loud funny.
So, we bought it. We had our Unicorn. Now, what to do with it?
It was clear that we needed some transformation to make our forever home. I started making lists. Lots of lists.
What did we want?
New kitchen with island.
Custom cabinets throughout the house.
Creation of a new walk-in pantry between the kitchen & the hallway. Kudos to Kim, our superstar real estate agent, that saw the opportunity to build this pantry by converting a space that had a built-in television. We added found space on the other side of the back wall, that had some cabinetry in the hallway … delivering a space that is 4’x6′. Perfect for a pantry.
New appliances for the new dream kitchen.
New plumbing fixtures for the new bathrooms.
Recessed lighting + ceiling fans in all rooms.
Smart controls for appliances, lighting, thermostat, sprinklers … and more.
Finally, the home’s 3 car garage would become a 1 car garage for Mrs M, and a 2-car garage shop for me.
A new table saw. And, at long last, a miter saw to easily break down lumber.
So then I started making spreadsheets. Lots of spreadsheets.
We met with our first contractor before we had the keys. That didn’t work out. He was in a transition – building his new shop/retail location, we were still developing the plan, we didn’t have possession yet … no. Strike 1.
Lots of planning went into every room … or in this case, shop. I get a purpose-built space that has the tools & space for the work I actually do. I can break down a 4’x8′ sheet of plywood, or cut a 12′ long board without breaking a sweat. In the shop. Without moving tools. Without using the driveway.
We met our 2nd contractor on February 28, the day we took possession. This was a big idea guy that had a particular way he wanted to do a big job like ours. Big job. Very professional presentation from the jump. I met all of the sub contractors he would recommend to us, and then the wheels started to come off. The cabinet guy was on vacation and could not meet with us for a week. And we lost a week before we even got started.
OK, that happens. But then this cabinet maker came back to meet with us, and couldn’t commit to a time he could begin construction. After several days, we got his quote (he accidentally sent it to us directly. Oopsie.) Then we got the entire consolidated quote from the general contractor a few days later.
The quote was over our projected budget, but more importantly, there was no promise of timing AT ALL. No projected date to begin. Just … approve this budget and we will talk about it.
Uh, no. I was in sales my whole life, and as we saw with Williams Homes, when sales techniques annoy me, I run for the hills. Strike 2.
I started to look for tradesmen myself. Then, I finally listened to our son-in-law. He knew a guy.
This guy, whom I met when Little Girl married son-in-law, was a childhood friend that grew up to be a contractor. And a groomsman, for that matter.
It happens. And life-long friends can be a wonderful thing.
Contractor #3 promised to introduce me to the right people. He would help & advise, but I would be left to supervise the process that we were oh, so invested in.
I began to stitch together a team. Some vendors were recommended to me, some we found on our own. All were available to begin work … soon. Very soon.
I created floorplans. Worklists. Ideas to be incorporated into each room.
We hired crews for garage door opener installation, epoxy floor installation, kitchen demo, plumbing, stone work, electrical, cabinetry, HVAC, roofing, chimney service, paint, carpet, and a keymaster. We bought appliances, plumbing fixtures, tile and stone slabs. We chose colors. We bought carpet.
It was the Fall of ’24, and we were distraught by the difficulty of buying a new house. We made up a priority list:
A single story home. We talked about going smaller, but we decided to stick with a 4+3: 4 bedrooms, 3 baths. Converting 2 bedrooms would make an office for me and an office today or a hobby room for Mrs M in her retirement, and still leave a guest room for our visitors.
Mrs M’s perfect kitchen: Room to cook. An island. A conversation area. The center of the home.
A shop space for me. A place to create. A place to escape from Mrs M.
A nice, quiet location in Castaic or nearby Santa Clarita.
Surprise! That’s almost impossible to find.
Come to find out, single story homes are relatively rare in the Santa Clarita Valley, where larger 2-story homes are built on the standard lots to increase builder profits. In some newer developments now selling in Santa Clarita, all 1-story homes are designated as 55+ senior communities. If you want to live in an all ages neighborhood … that pretty much means you are in a 2-story house.
Unless you go searching for perfection, it seems. When we started I had no idea that a single story home with a great kitchen & some nice shop space would be unusual. Or hard to find.
Oopsie. We were looking for a unicorn.
Kim to the rescue! Our real estate agent automated some email searches for us, and we began getting emails of 1-story homes for sale in our area. We also got emails of all homes for sale in our immediate neighborhood. We supplemented those emails based on the MLS real estate listings with our own searches on Zillow … all of which helped us understand what we were up against.
We went to see some homes.
A 6 acre property up Hasley Canyon … nice in a rural setting. EXCELLENT shop. But this older home’s kitchen didn’t pass muster, and we decided we really didn’t want a large property to take care of.
A lovely, updated home in old Newhall in the style of a Spanish hacienda. Nice 4-car garage I could convert to a shop. But, this older home had additions built on a time or 3, so the layout was just a bit odd. Lovely kitchen, but dark. And, yikes, it was expensive. In the end, it just wasn’t … right. Like Harry Potter trying to use the wrong magic wand. We kept looking.
There was horse property up Placerita Canyon that was interesting. Room to build a shop. But, there were steps to enter and steps to get to the dining room. This became a hard no for that reason … Mrs M has seen houses just not work for her elderly patients because of a step or 2 in the living space. Since this wants to be our forever home, we didn’t want to buy a problem in the making.
Another home in the Placerita Canyon neighborhood popped up, and it was a lovely property. Large lawn + a swimming pool in the back yard. 6 car garage/outbuilding with an RV garage door. But, the living room was actually a converted garage with a 7′ ceiling. Bedrooms were oddly laid out … we thought about it. I worked the numbers. And the house had multiple offers above the asking price immediately, so we just moved on. No 6 car garage for me.
Lovely homes up Hasley Canyon Road (just like the Williams Homes development), but none that were on sale checked off our boxes … those not for sale did not matter, no matter how lovely they appeared to be while on our drive-bys of the neighborhoods we were interested in.
An older home on The Old Road (fitting, that) in Castaic came up, and it had nice parking space for my trailer and little else, actually. There was a bit of property … but it was hillside. It was landscaped, sprinkled … and a fire risk. Hard no.
We visited one of the new developments near us, Tesoro. Single story & 55+ only. Postage stamp yards. I mean, tiny even by LA standards. The driveways in front of the garages were not big enough to park on, it seemed, without covering the sidewalk. The homes were truly lovely … but no.
We drove through the new developments behind Magic Mountain. Several developments are growing here, but none seemed like they were our unicorn. We kept driving.
Time passed. Suddenly, it was January 2025, and we were seemingly no closer to any decisions. Unicorns are rare, after all.
And Mrs M’s knees were not good. She went bionic on January 10 with a TKR: Total Knee Replacement. So, naturally, a nice looking house was found on January 11. I went to see it with Kim, and I was very interested. Mrs M, meanwhile, could barely walk.
So we gave it 48 hours, and her first outing after surgery was to go see what was our unicorn. We put an offer in, endured a very small bidding war with another buyer, and our offer to buy the house was accepted in a week. We closed after a short escrow, and got the keys on February 28.
We developed plans. Big plans. The house was very nice, but needed Velda’s perfect kitchen and updated bathrooms. The shop part of the 3 car garage needed extensive electrical work. Suddenly, we owned 2 houses and a new hobby: making our forever home.
Our new house is fully landscaped, which is a nice relief versus buying new construction. The exterior will be untouched, for now. The interior … we’re going all in.
And just to prove that God has a sense of humor, while we were in escrow, Williams Homes reached out to Kim to say that they were (finally) ready to allow us to buy Lot 76, that Model #9 with a 3-car garage. Sorry, Buttercup. I was a very good prospect for Williams Homes, but now I’m … just not interested in doing business with you.
I had been living with it for a while before I decided I was done. She was done. The problem, you see, was her knees. Going up stairs had become a painful process for her … and I wanted to end her pain.
You know what I mean. At least, I hope you know what I mean.
So I suggested it was time to leave the familial home of 37 years. Leave the 2nd story behind, and find a one story house. It was time.
And just like that, we were searching for a new house.
It didn’t take long for us to find a local, new development called Williams Ranch. The models were oh-so-spiffy, and we began the process of selecting our new forever home. It took a minute, but this planned community of a development had a few features that caught our eyes. Mrs M could get her dream kitchen, at long last. And I could get a nice shop as well, in an oversized garage (they called it an RV garage) that could be the new home of the Woodshop.
Thus began a courtship that lasted over a year. This whole buying a house thing was not easy, we found.
The sign that initially caught our eye. Unfortunately, after 2 years of development, they had never built a Toy Garage. Size was unknown. RV garages had been built … but rarely. Red Flag # 1.
We met our first sales rep in November of ’23. We had settled on a model #9 as our target, and he showed us a couple that they had built. One was ready to move in, one just needed us to select the flooring.
But there was no RV garage. We said no.
And the sales rep said “I don’t think this will work out for you,” kicked us to the curb, and assigned a new sales rep to handle us. OK, whatever. I spent more than 2 decades running a sales team, and I do understand that things happen. I also understand that when a rep doesn’t like the prospect, nothing good will happen.
Our new sales rep, however, was wonderful. It was now January of ’24, and she took us to the site of a future model #9, plot 40. We could even get it with an RV garage!
But, sales rep #2 told us, we would have to buy a retaining wall to move the slope on the lot back to make room for the RV garage. No worries, the developer would split the cost with is, so it was only an additional $75,000. Further, #2 told us, when we went to contract we would have to put down $25,000 as a deposit, plus pay 50% for all upgrades as they were added to the contract. So, in this case, the opening deposit would be $25,000 + $75,000 for the wall + $70,000 for the RV garage. Due immediately.
But first, before we could do ANYTHING, we needed to get credit pre-approval from their approved lender, which would do a loan application, credit check, and verify that we could actually buy the house.
That was all fascinating information. Information that our previous rep never shared with us (because it wasn’t going to work out for us, I’m sure).
So we had 2 things that had to get done: get credit approval, and get down payment funds lined up. We did the application and got a contingent credit approval on January 30, 2024. The contingency was that we needed to sell our current house to buy the new house.
After consulting with our excellent real estate agent, Kim Thompson, (who is a long-time client of the Woodshop), we determined that we needed to get a HELOC.
Which I had never heard of.
Home Equity Line Of Credit, HELOC, would allow us to cash out some equity from our current, mortgage-free home, and use those funds to purchase a new house. OK, that would work. Our days of having no mortgage were over, and we got the HELOC to prepare for our purchase of the mythical model # 9.
Which Williams Ranch would not sell to us. Apparently the lot #40 that we rejected due to the retaining wall was the only possible RV garage available in the development until … well, we don’t know when. Later. Whenever the developer releases a lot that is big enough. Which we don’t know when it will be. At all.
We offered to make a down payment so we were first in line for this mythical new house. No, sorry. No down payment wanted. They didn’t want our money, because they had “no idea” when they might be ready to build a house for us.
It was April ’24, and we were beyond frustrated. The developer shared almost no forward-looking information with us. We could buy what they had … or wait.
We waited.
Summer heated up, as expected, and eventually the upcoming “phase 15” was identified as having 2 homes that might work for us. Lot 75 had a model #12 which would have an RV garage. The money was a bit more for this larger home, but finally we had a shot. Also, lot 76 would be for a model #9 which might be able to have an RV garage, too. Maybe. Our sales rep, #2, told us our credit pre-approval from their preferred lender was first in line, so this could work. We were first in line.
September rolled around, and there was trouble in paradise. Yes, they were building the homes. No, we were no longer first in line. Because someone with an all-cash offer jumped the line.
Which sales rep #2 never told us would be a possibility.
The plot of a Plan 12 … only available with dimensions by taking a picture of the big monitor in the show room. Sales materials were lacking at times. Red Flag # 2.
We immediately found another way forward, and received “credit” approval for an all-cash offer on the house within a week. The new approval letter was dated September 14. But, our new all-cash offer date was in September, so we were no longer in first place. We were too late to the dance.
And the model #9 … would not have an RV garage. It would have “just” a 3rd car garage, because that was all there was room for on this particular lot.
And no, no deposit was possible. But we were not first in line for the #12 and although we were first in line for the #9, that could change at any moment since the developer could choose to do business with someone else if they chose. Pre-approvals were not binding.
It was September, and after pursuing a home purchase with Williams Ranch for 11 months, we had NOTHING. No schedule. No commitment. No plan.
Kim, our real estate agent, was as hot as we were, and she escalated the issue to Sales Rep #2’s Sales Manager. And her Vice President. And his President. They all said we were out of luck. Their choice. Their development. Buh-bye.
We were beyond angry.
Then Sales Rep #2 got fired.
This actually offended me, as Sales Rep #2 was the only company representative that shared relevant information with us. To this day, I do not believe that Sales Rep #2 cost us our purchase. I believe Sales Rep #1, to use the vernacular, snaked the sale by knowing our original contingent credit approval date, and worked with his client to beat it. Do I know that? No.
But I do know that #2 got fired as this whole bunch of crap came to light, and I very much regret that, as I believe she did nothing wrong. Perhaps she did not understand company policy correctly. Perhaps her boss or her boss’s boss did not train her properly. I’ll never know.
But I do know this: when the client is angry, nothing good follows. I am enough of a sales guy that when I am mistreated by a company, I don’t want to give them my money.
At all.
So in the Fall of 2024, we began to look for alternatives, as we continued to keep our eye on the #12 or the #9. Which would be available for sale … someday. Maybe to us, or maybe not. No way to know.
The Board Chronicles is an ongoing series of articles about the adventures of Mr M’s Woodshop as a vendor at community festivals & craft fairs. Learn about the horrors of The Road. Read the impossible demands of the people that know what I should really be doing. In short, it’s the comedy of errors that has become my life, presented here, like my cutting boards, as simple unvarnished truth. All for your amusement … and for the good of vendor-kind.
I was very excited about journeying to Northern California to be a part of the California Artisan Cheese Festival in Santa Rosa. I’ve always been focused on serving pieces, and this seemed like a very nice, targeted event.
The year was 2020, and then the world went to hell.
The 2020 event was cancelled due to covid, of course, like almost every public event in California that year. And again in 2021. And, for many events especially early in the year, 2022 was not different. For 3 years, this event was lost to me.
Finally, 2023 became a new opportunity. Thank goodness.
This Festival is a series of events over a long weekend with artisan cheese classes, food pairing events, farm tours and more. On Sunday afternoon, a vendor event is produced with a very large group of artisanal cheese producers – many with their own herds for true farm-to-table cheese – as well as related vendors including vintners, brewers, distillers … and woodworkers, among others. About 100 vendors were gathered for this 5 hour event.
New Ideas
I broke many rules to do this event.
This is a one-day, 5 hour event. I don’t do one-day events.
Since this event was 400 miles away from our home, I had to drive and stay in a hotel for … a one-day, 5 hour event. That never would have happened independently of any other good ideas, so…
Mrs M made a rare appearance at this event, playing the part of a Foodie enjoying the best of cheese while I was working like a dog in the booth. So, the event became the *excuse* to do a long weekend in Wine Country. We spent 5 days visiting Healdsburg, Sonoma, St Helena, and more. If you like wine, if you like food, if you like to wander … wine country is a great getaway.
Since I was all in for the event, the first event of 2023 … I created Serving Trays as a base for Charcuterie Kits to debut at this event.
I didn’thave walls (the event is indoors at the county fairgrounds, no canopies/frames allowed), so I could not hang pictures. And I had just done nice photography of the charcuterie kits … so I did a thing. I produced a Power Point presentation to show on my tablet, which was mounted on the table above the serving trays. The mount cost all of $22 and displayed the “boards in action” photos that really help illustrate what my boards can help you do. New presentation idea, powered by a portable battery we have to re-charge cellphones at un-powered events. Worked like a charm!
This was a getaway weekend, with a destination of a single booth at a targeted event … so I left the trailer at home, and packed the truck with what I needed. The limiting factor of the truck meant I left many products at home, but focused exclusively on serving pieces appropriate for artisanal cheese, charcuterie boards … or whatever people serve things on.
Observations
The display was more farmer’s market than fancy art boutique. It was a very casual atmosphere, a table top event (which, again, I never do these days). The promoter provided 2 8′ tables with short table cloths. I brought an additional 4′ table, and that was the total base of the display.
We arrived at 8a, and were set up by 9:30. The event didn’t start until 11, so we were perhaps a bit early. But you never know what the challenges are at a new event in an unfamiliar venue. It’s good to relax and check out the event before the masses arrive.
Mrs M being there means that she messes with my display. She improves the look of the booth, she says. She makes it better, she says. She increases sales, she says.
I have no idea what she’s talking about.
The floor was busy during this event. Estimated attendance of 1,500, all there to sample cheese and wine … and beer and nuts and bread and whatever vendors were giving away. Lines were 20+ people deep, 8-10 minutes for a “hot” vendor like Cowgirl Creamery or Beehive Cheese Company.
I had talked to the promoters about my unique presentation (compared to the food vendors sampling their creations, I was the weird one). They put me in a corner booth so people could walk on 2 sides of the booth. That was good.
They also put me across the building, in front of the bandstand. That was bad. (The band was primarily acoustic with a banjo, clarinet, tuba and percussionist. Very fun Americana music and not too loud.)
They also put me on the path to the bathroom. That was good. I guess.
Booth locations are something that I do my best to ignore, honestly. Vendors don’t control them. Why get upset about where you are when it’s someone else’s decision? I’ve run events. I’ve assigned vendors to booth locations. I’ve also dealt with upset vendors that just lost their minds because their location … wasn’t whatever they thought it should be. I don’t want to be that guy. My location was FINE. People could see me. We were not blocked by a line. If people were looking for a wooden object, they knew where I was.
But I brought cheese boards … I didn’t bring chess boards. That was a request. As were book shelves. I politely said sorry! … just as I happily dispensed free advice on how to deal with a permanently mounted wooden cutting board embedded into a stone counter. I am old, so I must be wise. I guess.
There were actually 4 woodworkers there. Two were really focused on traditional cutting boards and one exclusively made seascape resin boards using that dreaded bulbous grass, AKA bamboo, as their base. Truly I did not compete with any of them.
My first 3 sales were Charcuterie Kits and Serving Trays. Vindicated, I was.
And I said that out loud to the Lady. So, of course, I didn’t sell another one.
For a five hour event that was an excuse to drive 400 miles … this was a winner. I sold enough to pay the entire hotel bill, gas and vendor fee. The Lady got to geek out on cheese … and found the highly-sought cheeses that are used in the world’s best grilled cheese sandwich (found at the Rustic Bakery & Muir Woods National Forest) as well as the fabulous Very Adult Mac & Cheese from the Market in St Helena. Both of these dishes served as destinations for us during the weekend, so buying the necessary cheeses was a great coup.
Sometimes, going a-vendoring is about the journey, not the destination. I’m taking the win on this one.
The Food
When we travel, the Lady busies herself in the passenger seat stalking restaurants in our destination city to choose the ultimate, best dinner she could find. It’s her thing. This trip, however, it just worked out that we did lunches as our culinary adventures, and “settled” for take out most evenings.
Best Meal: Pizza Verde at The Journeyman, an Italian charcuterie in Healdsburg that makes their own sausage salumi. The pizza featured soppressata, an Italian sausage sometimes made by pressing the meat between 2 boards. It was amazing. And we just might have purchased a lot of sausage to bring home. And a guillotine to cut it. And joined their meat club. Hey, we were on vacation.
The Other Best Meal: A pannini-style grilled cheese sandwich, the Marin Melt, with Rustic Bakery‘s Honey Whole Wheat bread, Two cheeses are combined: Cowgirl Creamery Mt Tam and Point Reyes Toma cheese.
Honorable Mention: Very Adult Mac & Cheese, The Market, St Helena. I added chicken, the Lady added crab. Draw your own conclusions. We had this dish a few years ago when we visited Little Girl at her nearby college, Sonoma State in Rohnert Park. Simply fabulous food. Worthy of being a destination.
Worst Meal: We went out one night, Monday night. Most restaurants were closed (oops). Choice # 1 was an Italian restaurant that wanted reservations (double oops). Desperation drove us to another relatively well reviewed Italian restaurant, Alfredo’s in Petaluma. It was horrid. Made the Lady sick, even. My belief is the Mexican American cooks had no clue how to follow the Italian recipes they were given. Every dish was just … off. Mrs M later found a couple of bad reviews that talked about “cooks in training.” Sorry, not for a dinner costing over $100 for 2 with no alcohol.
The Facts
Total miles driven: 852
Booth cost: $250
# of people we met during the event from the producer: 4
Visits in the booth by a promoter’s representative: several
Returning next year? Yes. This is a great event for cheese enthusiasts … and Mr M’s Woodshop belongs there.
