When I last wrote you, I eagerly anticipated getting the master bath (AKA primary bath. Discussed below) together in the next week. (cue laugh track) Here we are, after 18 days and we just got the functional vanity in the our bathroom.
If you have remodeled your house, you know where I’m going with this. The process is impossibly long. It is unexpectedly painful. And, eventually, the couple begins to divide the marital assets.
Our Master Bathroom Vanity was installed. It had sinks. It had water. It had drains. It had drawers. So, Mrs M claimed a sink. And she claimed a drawer beneath that sink. Apparently.
I recognized this as the opening of negotiations that would have life-long import. Time to recognize our new status and claim what is mine.
He said: “I see that you have claimed a sink.”
She said: … (editor’s note: Thus began a 2 minute speech on the value of the sink she chose, why she chose it and why she began putting stuff in the drawer below. She included other supposedly relevant information. The speech was 2 minutes. I have no idea what she said.)
He said: “So you want the sink on the right.”
She said: “Yes.” (editor’s note: Ah, clarity. That elusive muse that haunts my every waking minute)
He said: “I want a drawer.”
She said: “Why do you need a drawer? You don’t need a drawer.”
He said: “I need a place to put my stuff without having to search for it and fight to open the drawer because of all of your stuff. I want a drawer.”
She said: “You don’t need a drawer. You don’t have that much stuff.”
He said: “I want a drawer beneath my sink. I can store my stuff there.”
She said: “So you’ll keep all of your deodorant, shampoo & hair spray there?” (editor’s note: this is the end of the list of my toiletries. 3 items, with back ups.)
He said: “Yes, I’ll keep my stuff in my drawer.”
She said: “I have researched containers to help us organize things in the drawers. But you don’t need a drawer. You don’t have that much stuff.”
He said: “I would be OK if you put shared items, like Q-Tips, in my drawer. But nothing else.
She said: “We’ll see.”
He said: “I want a drawer for my stuff.”
She … changed the subject. No confirmation.
I want a drawer.
The lower drawers are not affected by the plumbing. Storage galore.
The Master Controversy
Early on in our house hunt, I (again) learned that I was not with it. Not current. Out of fashion. Old. All of that.
“Master Suite,” “Master Bedroom,” “Master Bathroom” … are all hopelessly out of date. Today’s society has no Masters. Only Primaries. Apparently.
News to me.
And since I am old and resistant to change, I will forever say we have a Master Bedroom. Not a Primary Bedroom. Deal with it.
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let the record reflect that the things currently in ‘my’ drawer are only there so i have a place to do dishes. Had I known that possession was 9/10ths of the law i would have put 1 thing in each drawer. It’s on!
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