Working At Home   1 comment

I’ve worked at home full-time since April 15, 2009. Here are a few tips to help if you should ever be fortunate enough to work at home.

1. Get a water cooler. If you don’t talk while standing around the water cooler, you’re missing a great cultural cliché.

2. Don’t have any hobbies. Those will only distract you from work.

3. Do leave your house occasionally. I go to the post office on Fridays, which is my weekly treat.

4. Don’t tell anyone you know that you’re working at home, or they’ll borrow your car.

5. Every week, send your boss an email at 2am. Because you’re always working.

6. Have an office. Have a door. Post a sign on the outside: “If I needed your help, the door would be open.”

Sisyphus, condemned to carry his burden to the top of a mountain through all eternity. Painting by Titian, 1549, from the Museo del Prado, Madrid, Spain

Sisyphus, condemned by Zeus to endlessly carry his burden to the top of a mountain through all eternity. Painting by Titian, 1549, from the Museo del Prado, Madrid, Spain

7. Have a dedicated workspace, and don’t do anything else in that space. Dear IRS: this is what I do.

8. Develop a close working relationship with your new best friends: the Fed Ex guy and the UPS guy. (Note: I’m not sexist. They are always guys.)

9. Make sure you always answer your cellphone. Even though your family KNOWS you are at home and they KNOW you are working, they’ll not forgive you if you don’t respond to text messages quickly.

10. Consider dropping your cellphone service.

11. Remember having an IT person that you can just call to fix your computer?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

12. Every week, call the boss at 6am your time. Because you’re always working.

13. Don’t eat lunch in the kitchen. That will only encourage you to do the dishes. No one does household chores during business hours.

14. Invest in comfy sweats and socks with gripper bottoms. You don’t have time to dress before you go to work. At 6am. Every day.

15. Do shower regularly. Do not shower at expected times. Showers at 3pm are invigorating.

16. Do not encourage the cats, or they’ll become needy when you’re on the phone. Which is fine, really, but you don’t want your client to KNOW you’re petting the cat while giving the client 100% of your attention.

17. Buy a wireless headset for your telephone. Wear it constantly, and conduct conference calls walking around the house. Insist the kids turn off all TVs & music because you are WORKING.

18. If you’re wearing the headset you’re on the phone. As far as they know.

19. Never answer the phone when the boss calls. Because you’re always on the phone with a client.

20. Do buy tickets to afternoon movies & baseball games. It’s really the only way to relieve the intense stress of working at home.

Posted March 28, 2013 by henrymowry in Living Life

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One response to “Working At Home

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  1. I was a telecommuter for three years. The arrangement definitely has its good and bad points, but overall, I got in the groove of it. I did, however, gain weight — just too close to the kitchen and always antsy and hungry! Love this post!

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